Showing posts with label Personal. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Personal. Show all posts
London has always been sort of an enigma to me. Several months ago, all I knew of this city was its residential cul-de-sacs and suburban roads, leading to family and family friend's houses. Through visiting over the years, I had been so close to the centre - the pulsing heart of the country, - but yet had bypassed its core. That was until January when I packed up my bags and left for the big city.
Since then, I've been thoroughly inducted as a Londoner. Long gone are the fresh doe eyes as I awoke every morning to take the tube to central, surrounded by natives who could barely notice my excitement through their sleepy daydreams. Instead of pausing to gaze in awe on my journey to work, I now briskly rush down its street and into the dark tunnels of the underground tube system. I zoom past other faces of people I've never known before in solidarity, as we all focus on our own destinations. But there are many times, I still find myself deeply fascinated. I pause midway and begin to admire the beauty of this city. On the surface I may be a Londoner, but my heart beats as a tourist, seeing this city for the first time all over again.
Hello wonderful people from the other side, how are you all? You may have noticed over the past several weeks that I haven't posted in a while. Life has been pretty busy lately. While most people after New Year's Day were winding down to go back to the everyday post-festive routine, I was packing and planning my move all across the country for a new job. And of all cities to move to in the world, I moved to London. The ultimate destination of all freaking cities, how crazy right? It's definitely been an adjustment period that's for sure! London is like it's own little country, with it's own little system separate from the rest of England and it's been interesting so far to say the least. It's been a few weeks and I still can't believe I'm here!
London is the type of city that really needs no introduction. Its the gem of England, and probably the first city that most tourists think of when they think of Britain. You spend most of your early morning commuting with passing strangers, trying to avoid explicit eye contact. Your tube journeys are filled with bizarre moments and memories of intriguing characters and prologued delays. London is also the type of city that makes you very aware of the value of money. Seriously a tiny sandwich portion for £5, I could probably have made 3 square meals just from that! But past those elements there's something so enchanting about this little city that had an undeniable draw. Putting aside the logical notions of career prospects, there is so much to see and do. So much I even don't know where to start! Its a rich city surrounded by history and developing culture. I'm so excited to be here and can't wait to see what the next several months will bring!
I'll let you in on a little secret that I don't think I've told anyone before. Well, until now that is. Every year on my birthday, I take some time out of my day to reflect. I reflect on the achievements I've accomplished over the past year, mourn the loses that change brings and prepare for the year ahead. It's almost like a tradition - pre new year. So in celebration of my birthday this past weekend, I wanted to just take some time and reflect.
Let me take you back in time to last year. I was fresh out of university with my newly qualified degree, ready to take on my next new adventure. I had just taken up a new full-time position to support my future endeavours, and was actively pursuing my personal and career ambitions. But like many who leave university, I was still figuring out all the pieces of the missing puzzle. I felt so overwhelmed by the culture shock of no longer holding the title of student, and the life that came with it. I had no clue how things would be in the next couple of months, let alone a year. But despite all that, this past year - no matter how puzzling it seemed to be - has been one of the most enriching experiences I've had in my life. Though nothing went according to plan, everything worked out for the best. Life gave me what I needed - nothing more and nothing less. If I could go back in time, I would tell myself that ...
I'm homesick for a place that just doesn't exist. My heart lies divided in two places. The place I grew up in, and the place I live in. They both hold memories dear to me. My childhood home holds my friends and my family. Those evenings we spent by the park, playing around the swings and talking about moments in our teenage lives. Those days spent watching movies around the dinner table, with a bowl of my mother's homemade chilli popcorn shared between my parents and I. Now my world holds the independence I always longed for, but never could find in that old hometown of mine. It comes with it's own structure and responsibilities - words my young teenage-self use to avoid like the plague. Instead of waiting for my mother's home made dinners, I create my own with recipes I've discovered on the internet. I make my own flavours with sauces and peppers from the local supermarket across the road. Life is different now. I love it. I do. But then ...
Then comes the feeling of nostalgia. Old friends and places I no longer can visit. Roads that use to be 10 minutes away - within the grasp of my feet - are now three hours away, down a long road which I can not follow. Going back wouldn't help - since people are scattered and following their own path miles away. So I look ahead and find unfamiliar but friendly faces to converse with and become companions on the journey ahead. We talk and we laugh - long hours into the night. With words spoken, and thoughts unsaid. Memories in the making, changing our statuses from acquaintances to friends over time. It does not replace, but it helps to erase, that lingering ghost that calls me to look upon my shoulder, at memories from years before. I still reminisce, but not as much as before. This place I'm living in is slowly becoming my home.
So torn between the world I live in and the world I grew up in. I'm missing a place that doesn't truly exist anymore. So I call up my friends in this new town I've been calling home, and decide to have a movie marathon till 2am to take away these home felt blues. And in those moments I know, it'll pass. As I look upon the faces of the people I have come to know, I feel a tenderness that can only be described as being home. And then I truly know. That one day, I no longer will be homesick. I'll just be content with this small little place I've come to live.
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Inspired by my own university experience, I decided to create something that was poetically reminiscent of that time frame of when you're in transition. That period of time, when you've moved to a new town - far from your hometown - and are being to create a new life there. Even if you haven't experienced it just yet, you may do some day. Weather it's for university, a job in a foreign city, or maybe you'll be married and moved to a different country. It's human nature to look back over our shoulders at the past, whilst still trying to creating memories and moments in the present. Who knows maybe you can relate?
I hope you enjoy it! Any thoughts?
Back when I first got into the early forms of blogging on Livejournal, I remember doing a tag called 101 things in 1001 days - which is exactly what it sounds like. Completing 101 tasks that you set out to do in 1001 days. Funny enough, I don't even remember half the things I wrote on that list! Let alone if I accomplished half of them. So I decided to redo this task, and actually achieve most if not all on my list. Second times the charm, right? So without further ado, lets get this show on the road!
This year I've decided to participate in something pretty awesome! My lovely friends over at Allison Leighann and October June decided to create a wonderful tag for the year, called A Year Of Happy, where every month on the 15th you're given a task to complete - which just inspires joy and happiness throughout the year. It's ever so thoughtful and optimistic, that I just had to participate! This month's task is to ...
" Write a love letter to yourself. Write all the reasons you're awesome, write down your hopes and dreams for the year ahead, any resolutions, heck, write what you had for lunch. Share why you're grateful for 2014 and what you want to achieve in 2015. Share whatever you want - it's your letter."So without further ado, here is my letter to myself. I hope you enjoy!
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